It is amazing how many parents or loved ones foster criminal or self-destructive behavior among their family system. Now for the purposes of this blog we will define family system as your “circle.” As a clinician I have listened to numerous family members who meant well in their intentions but ultimately aided and enabled the destruction of their loved one. Some support their cause as “love”. This “love” can range from continuing a $100 daily opiate habit in order to stop the loved-one from being “dope sick”, or it can take the form of one allowing criminal activity by another inside their home. The bigger issue occurs when financial, social, and emotional deterioration begins. For example, supporting a drug habit that leaves you penniless, or the strain and tension created with additional family from whom an addict has stolen from. These are a few examples that can place one in very uncomfortable positions. It is for this reason that Boundaries are necessary.
There are many misconceptions about the idea of boundaries. Who is responsible for boundaries? Who is responsible for respecting your boundaries? What are the hard and fast rules we have in relation to boundaries? These are the items that this counselor has constantly
That brings me to my next topic. What is an enabler?
Ultimately in any relationship, boundaries are important. Boundaries must be respected by all parties involved. When a boundary is crossed there must be a consequence. Only you can set your consequence. Failure to do so supports behavior that is harmful and enables all involved parties to proceed in a negative manner. Never the less, this author can not tell you what boundaries to have and not have. It is on the authority of the individual to decide what they will allow and not allow. This decision must be firm. Boundaries considered loose
relationship and interaction to exist one must decide how must I be treated? What do